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Chag Sameach!

Tonight we finally got our little un-kosher make-shift sukkah decorated. We were at our temple on Friday to decorate the sukkah there, we had a rainy day on Saturday and then we were busy all day yesterday. Running out of time. I was tempted to just say screw it since Josh is going to be away later this week so we'll really only have a few nights to even use the sukkah.



But then I realized that there's never enough time, it's never easy, and we have to just do what we can to celebrate the holidays and make these traditions a part of our children's lives and memories. They won't know that the walls and roof aren't kosher. They won't remember that we ate in the sukkah 3 nights instead of 7.

They'll remember looking up at the sky through the leaves.

Saying Kiddush with Baby Bear.


Eating dinner and reading stories, all bundled up in the chilly evening, looking up at the lights and stars.


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Editing to add a word about what we used for our sukkah.

We got one of those outdoor gazebos this summer, it has a metal frame, canvas roof and mosquito netting walls. For the sukkah, we took off the roof and put some branches over the top (we live in the woods, there is no shortage of branches and ferns etc). The walls are not kosher because they are not fastened tightly and will move in the wind. I think the roof is not kosher because it is not covered enough. But it's the thought that counts!

The paper star lanters are available HERE from moderntribe.com, and they are beautiful and worth every penny! Josh has become rather chatty with the owners over Twitter, they're great people running a great business!

CEIMB: New York Breakfast

This week's recipe for Craving Ellie in my Belly is the New York Breakfast, hosted by Imafoodblog.

This was a nice little change of pace for breakfast for me. I do eat fish but our home is vegetarian, so I just had cream cheese, tomatos and scallion. It was not particularly exciting, but it was good. I'll spare you the sad picture that I took of my little breakfast on a paper towel in my dark kitchen.

Kol Nidre

Josh is at Kol Nidre service, and I am at home minding the wee ones. Tomorrow I will be in services all day, fasting.

This is my first year of fasting and taking off from work to attend Yom Kippur services. I did not prepare at all mentally or physically. I have not been hydrating. I have not been making ammends. I am sleepwalking through it all. I wish I were really immersed in this holiday, really living it. But I'm doing the bare minimum, going through the motions, and it's the best I can do. It's better than nothing.

I am finally managing to regularly carve out time for myself in our home to do some things for myself and my family beyond the basics. I'm doing some cooking and baking and crafting. But I am just now seeing that I still have not mentally made space and time for myself. I'm not taking time to be quiet and reflective. And to be honest, I'm sort of afraid to. In these past few years of pregnancies fulfilled and pregnancies lost, and babies and toddlers, my body and mind have been in a constant state of fight-or-flight, always in survival mode. It's been so overwhelming. I think part of me is afraid that if I really get that quiet space, if I stop, everything from the past few years will catch up with me and I'll just fall to pieces.

I know that's not true, but that's how it feels. And I guess maybe in a small way, in feeling this fear and wanting to change it, I really am internalizing this holiest of days? It's all baby steps. And maybe, hopefully, next year I'll be just a bit farther ahead. Hopefully my head will be in it, and I'll spend Yom Kippur feeling more than just hungry.

CEIMB and BB

This week's Craving Ellie in my Belly recipe was the Sweet & Spicy Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, hosted by Leslie of Lethally Delicious.

I love this recipe. The sweet comes from some tasty little carmelized red onions, and the spicy is from pepper jack cheese that's mixed with cheddar in the sandwich. The first time I made these several weeks ago, I was just winging it with the cheese and ended up using too much. They were good, but they really were too rich and cheesy. I made myself another one a week later, with less cheese, and it was much better.

Grilled Cheese is so simple and basic, and this is a great way to mix it up. If I were the kind of person to have houseguests, this would be great to have for lunch along with some soup when it's chilly out, to make something simple that seems a bit fancy. I don't do houseguests, though, so it'll just be Josh and me living it up on these little tasties this winter.

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This week's Barefoot Bloggers recipe was Beatty's Chocolate Cake, hoted by Mary of Passionate Perseverance. This is a chocolate cake with a chocolate frosting.

Firstly, I have a hard time making cakes because it'll just go to waste around here. I'm more of a cupcake gal lately, since I can freeze some, eat some here at home with Josh and the girlies, and easily bring some into my office to feed the savages.

Secondly, I don't like the chocolate/chocolate combo, or vanilla/vanilla. I like choc cake/vanilla frosting, or vice versa. So. I decided to pass on the frosting, and instead I made the Fluffy White Frosting from Martha Stewart's Cupcakes book.

These were so good. The cake was dark and rich, it has a whole cup of coffee in it (I used decaf), which really intensifies the chocolate flavor. And with the vanilla frosting, these cupcakes tasted like Devil Dogs. I didn't have buttermilk in the house, so I had to do the lemon juice/milk trick, which worked great. The batter was very runny, though, and also rose a TON in the oven, which was very surprising.

And pardon me while I get dorky, but I really liked that this recipe called for sifting the dry ingredients in the mixer, and adding the wet ingredients. It's usually the other way around, and when I dump in the dry ingredients, no matter how carefully, some always puffs up in a dust cloud. That didn't happen at all doing it this way. Or maybe I just usually have the mixer set too high and that's why I get little atomic clounds? Anyway.

I can see this recipe being my go-to for chocolate cake in the future. And as you can see, Delma enjoyed them. Yum!

Birthday Bean

My baby turned one this weekend. My Beany. My little muffin. I'd like to tell you about how we celebrated our girl, how we showered her with love and attention, but... Not so much. We are SO birthdayed out, with the girlies' birthdays being just a few weeks apart. We had Delly's kid party, then her actual birthday, then a family party for both girls. Oy. By the time Mimi's day rolled around we were pretty much over it. We threw some new books (unwrapped) at her when she was getting fussy. We didn't even have her cupcakes til the day after her birthday, when we quickly tossed a dress on her and jammed a cupcake in her face to stage a photo op. Poor Bean. Good thing she's too little and squooshy-brained to know how how ripped off she was.



My baby, my love, my heart. Your life is a decision that Daddy and I made. I owe you so much more than I give you. I promise to be more patient with you, Beany. Happy Birthday.

Love, Mommy.

Shana Tova!

It's Rosh Hashanah. Apple cake is cooling on the counter. And when we wake up tomorrow Mimi will be One Year Old. Wowza!

Wishing all my friends and family a Happy and Healthy New Year! XOXO

CEIMB: Mexican Tortilla Pizza

This weeks Craving Ellie in my Belly recipe is the Mexican Tortilla Pizza, chosen by Joanne over at Apple Crumbles. Check out her blog for her modifications to the recipe and lots of pictures.

This recipe was so good! I had put all of the ingredients for the dip together in a bowl the day before I was making this meal, but didn't have a chance to run them through the food proc. So they hung out in the fridge for a day, which ended up being a good thing -- I recommend letting this dip sit for a while in the fridge before serving, because the flavors had melded so well, the dip was so cilantro-y and lime-y. Just delicious.

We had this on Monday night, for our dinner playdate. It was a cinch to quickly whip up the dip and assemble. I had also chopped the extra cilantro the day before so I could just pull it out of the fridge and quickly sprinkle it on the baked pizzas before serving. I'm glad I had prepped a bit in advance, because the house was in a state of sheer mayhem with the kids running around and trashing the joint.

The kids ate mac and cheese and we moms ate this. It was delicious, I will absolutely make it again. I was going to add some cheese, even though the recipe doesn't call for it, but then I forgot and honestly didn't miss it at all. And here is the final yet-again-un-photogenic product: Still Life with Bear and Dinner on Paper Plate:



The only bummer is that I had a ton of cabbage leftover and no clue what to do with it. I should have looked for some recipes to use it up, but didn't and it all went to waste. Suggestions??

Wordless Wednesday (Now with 100% more Wednesday!)

Delly reading a book to her baby bear, aka "Light Brown Bear" (very creative around here with the names), aka "Blueberry" (when we pressed her to give the bear a name), aka "Kitty" (last weekend all bears were named "Kitty" for a day).

Wordless Wednesday (on Tuesday!)