Showing posts with label Miriam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miriam. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Mommy's girl

Delma was never a mommy-baby. I often tell people that she has been a fiercely independent person from the day she was born. She wasn't a cuddler. I think maybe only a handful of times in her entire infancy was she so cozy in my or Josh's arms that she drifted off to sleep while we held her. She's always needed her personal space. She rarely showed any preference for one of us over the other, and when she did start to it was almost always a preference for Josh. She very much became a Daddy's Girl.

Mimi, however, has been a totally different story. She is a squooshy little cuddle-bug. She loves to be held. She'll rest her head on your shoulder, she is inconsolable if she's in the mood for a cuddle and you need to put her down to pee or something. She is ALL ABOUT mommy, which makes me feel like a rock star but also sucks the life out of me. Seriously, if it were physically possible and I let her, she would crawl right back into me. It's no wonder my labor had to be induced after I was 9 days late -- that girl never would have budged on her own.

After Mimi was born and Josh had to take over Delly-duty so much more so that I could nurse and care for Mimi, it wasn't that hard on Delly. It wasn't tough for her to spend a bit less time with me, she didn't much notice my absence. But. Something has happened in the past month... Mimi has finally become a bit of a threat, now that she's on the verge of walking and is sharp as a tack and into everything. Now she's all about me too, and has become a little Mommy's Girl.

Our family dynamic has totally changed. Delma begs for me. Josh feels rejected and bummed out. Mimi makes a bee-line right for me when she sees Delma getting up in my grill and literally climbs all over me to get in on the mommy pig-pile action. Oy. I'm not going to lie, the adoration doesn't suck. But man is it exhausting.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sister Sunday

At 6:30 this morning I was up, had a load of laundry going, checked email, and was all alone. It wasn't the sound of a crying baby or toddler that woke me, it was daylight coming through the window. The girls were both miraculously asleep... What a lovely way to start a Sunday.

We had a lot going on today, but it all went relatively smoothly, with very few tears. We made appearances at a few social gatherings, got shopping done, got some yardwork done, the girls had good naps, Josh got to kill some zombies, Delly got to go on swings at a playground and gather rocks and shells at the beach, and we ate dinner pretty much on time.

The day ended with the girls taking their first bath together. Delly and Mimi were both thrilled. It is definitely a 2-adult job, but it was so worth it. They are so into each other, it's a joy to watch them interact and love each other. Mimi stared at Delly all through dinner tonight, and then completely flipped out when Delma finished eating and left the table. They couldn't keep their eyes off each other in their bath, and were both giddy and splashing and just going bonkers.

I know they will likely have issues with each other during their lives and won't always like each other very much. But I am hell-bent on making sure that they each always have the other's back. My brother and I grew up under the same roof as virtual strangers, because we had no one around to teach us how to be a family. And while I do believe that the families we create for ourselves need not be exclusively biological, the sibling relationship is so special. Who else will understand what it was like growing up in your house, with your parents and your family? It's a critical bond, and one that I want Delma and Mimi to be aware of and to respect and appreciate.

But there's time enough to teach them. For now, it's enough and it's everything to look in my rearview mirror and catch them sharing a private moment, staring at each other, smiling, holding hands. It's enough to make my heart burst.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

our mornings

Here's a typical morning scene at our house, Beany on the bathroom floor gnawing on toys while we shower and get ready for work. She definitely still has plenty of fussy time, but the fact that she can happily sit and play is such a change from how she was until relatively recently, and it's such a relief and a joy.

When I took this picture, something about it seemed very familiar. Then I figured it out... Here's a picture from 2 years ago, Delly at the same age that Mimi is now, on our bathroom floor, wearing the same shirt. It says "SINGLE."

Look at all of Delly's hair! Damn, I am so pissed that most of Mimi's hair fell out. It's finally growing in now, but the only substantial hair she has is on the top of her head and just looks like a bad toupee.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

6-month-old bean

Who loves 6-month-old beans? We do. We call Mimi The Bean because her middle name is Binah. Anyhoo, she is 6 months old. Wow.

Josh and I don't know where this kid came from, she is so unlike Delma that we often are at a loss as to how to relate to her at all. She is a serious little thing, a tough nut to crack, she is not quick with a smile at all. She really makes us work for it, which of course turns us into maniacal baboons trying to get a reaction from her. And that chin! Those ears! That kooky face! Who is this person??

In the past month or so she's started babbling like crazy, sitting on her own, eating solids, she stopped crying in the car (the BEST development so far!), and the other night she finally started sleeping at night without her swaddle. Those long, painful new-baby days are mostly behind us now.

Happy Half-Birthday, Bean!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Girl Days

When Mimi was born we kept Delma in daycare fulltime for a few weeks, so I could have time to figure out what the hell to do with a baby again before juggling both kids by myself. A few weeks ago we changed the schedule to Delly in daycare on Mondays and Thursdays, and home with Mimi and me on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. We call them our "Girl Days."

Some days there's more TV than I'd like, and on girl days I rarely manage to get any chores done. I expected Delly to have little-to-no patience when I had to tend to Mimi's needs before her own needs or wants. And she has certainly pitched some fits, and they are getting more frequent as Mimi becomes more high-maintenance, but for the most part she's been unexpectedly good. I was braced for each day being one battle after another, being completely stressed out and was planning to have to find things to keep her busy all day just to keep her out of my hair. What I didn't expect was to really have fun. I didn't expect feeling very proud of myself on those days when I can keep both of girls mostly happy and can also get work done around the house, and get us out of the house to run errands or do fun things. It's so simple, and kajillions of other parents do this, but it still feels like such an accomplishment to me. And a wonderful product of this new arrangement is that Delly become more Mommy-centric than ever. She's generally either shown no preference for either Josh or me, or occasionally prefers her Daddy. But she almost never purposefully picked me over him. Now she does, and often when he comes home at the end of the day it takes her a while to warm up to him. I feel like such a MOM. It's very satisfying, and I love it.

Our girl days are very challenging, and usually leave me shot by the time Josh comes home, but I really am so happy to have this precious time home with my daughters. Even though the second Mimi starts screaming I start counting the minutes til I return to work. We've been going back and forth about the possibility of hiring a house cleaner. Part of me feels like, what a waste when I'm home every day. But when I have a little time when the girls are napping or occupied or when they're with Josh, the last thing I want to do is clean floors. But I'm more and more feeling like it may very well be worth the cost.

I don't want to look back at this brief period of time and regret that I didn't make more of an effort to really enjoy it. When will I ever get months of time at home again?? I don't want to waste it making myself more stressed than I need to if I can avoid it. Plus, I want time to sew more clothes for my girlies! More on that in another post...

Monday, November 3, 2008


Miriam is 6 weeks old now, though for the life of me I can't figure out how that happened. The first 4 or 5 weeks she was sort of a breeze -- sleeping a ton, relatively easy to soothe and to get to nap. But the times, they are a-changin. Now she's more alert and is having more awake time during the day, and is turning into a major fussbudget. She doesn't transition well at all between wake and sleep, and if she's at all sleepy she just falls to pieces. And this girl screams and howls, and it seems to be getting worse every day. When she does get to sleep during the day, she has a hard time staying asleep. It's maddening, especially on the days when Delly is home with us too and I really want the baby to sleep so D and I can have fun. I can't work on any projects in the house or with D because at any moment that baby could need my full attention and pull me away. I can't pump breast-milk during the day because I don't want to get all empty and then have her wake up and need some nursing to be soothed.

All the soothing techniques that worked with Delma just make this baby angry. The swing and the car both used to make D pass right out and sleep forever. Not this one. The only way I can get her to calm down in the car when she's in her hysterics is to roll down her window for a while and blast her with all that cold air. That's going to be super-fun when it's freezing out. She likes to be rocked in her car seat on the floor, so you'd think the swing would make her happy, but no. She's like a little crazy-person.

I've been looking at the calendar to figure out when to go back to work. I was originally planning to be out 16 weeks, which would be the middle of January. But we just booked a trip to FL to accompany Josh on a work trip at the end of January so I'm going to go back to work right after New Year's in order to work a few weeks before taking off on a vacation. But now I'm actually considering going back a week or 2 earlier than that. I'm not going to make that decision just yet, but I'm going to stay open to the idea if the next month doesn't get easier or even gets worse. This is just too stressful for me, which makes me feel guilty and like a big weak loser, but I need to be honest with myself and take the best care of my family that I can. And if going back to work early makes me a better mom, then that's what I'll do.

Thankfully, she is sleeping great at night. We've got her on a little bedtime routine and by 9pm she is down for the count. She wakes up once at night, usually around 2:30, and then goes back to sleep for a few hours. Delma is up every morning at 5:30, and Mimi has been getting up just a little after that most mornings. And if the nights weren't so easy and predictable, I think these long tear-filled days would put me right over the edge for sure.

She's a little maniac, that Miriam. And she has the face of a little old man. But for those brief periods each day when she's actually happy, what a fun little old man face it is!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Newest Littlest Hatton, or Back to Square One

Miriam Binah Hatton, born (9 days late! Induced! This kid would not ever have come out on her own, I'm sure of it!) September 19. Labor felt like the biggest cheat: I was induced, got an epidural, slept for a few hours, woke up and pushed for about 25 minutes. After pushing for 4 hours (!!!) with Delma, this was a walk in the park. This time around my own favorite OB was there to deliver, we had a great nurse... the whole time I was pushing, Josh, our doc and nurse were all kibitzing and chitty-chatting and swapping funny stories, they barely even noticed I was in the room squeazing out a baby. It was a genuinely fun time. Crazy. Plus, I got a fresh new little baby in the end!

This pregnancy was tougher than when I was pregnant with Delma. I was way sicker in the beginning this time, plus I didn't have the luxury of just going home after work every day and falling asleep on the couch since I had D to take care of. And that miscarriage I had last fall messed with my head and heart and left me feeling constantly, accutely terrified about losing this baby until she started moving around a lot in the 21st or 22nd week. It was maddening. I did have a comfortable 2nd trimester, but then like clockwork, the instant my 3rd tri started, the fatigue set in and kicked my ass and left me feeling like I could barely function.

My due date was Sept 10, and I stopped work at the beginning of that week, thinking that I'd be having a baby any day... But she would not budge. So I had almost 2 weeks at home, getting my head into at-home-mommy mode. I'm really glad I had that time to get work out of my head and to more easily transition from Business Analyst to Fulltime Mommy.

So far so good, though I'd forgotten how hard it is just to get out of the house with a breastfeeding newborn. She gets hungry at the most inopportune times, and then takes a massive crap that shoots straight up her back and needs a full wipe-down and wardrobe change... Oy vay. I'm finally starting to get the hang of it (again), though.

And I get to kiss this face to my heart's content.